"Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. customs they went to City Hall to get a and buy everything they'll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. "Ere you go." Contributed by: Ragnar Nilsen, Ole and Sven Lars is shocked, but not surprised. buckets and moved about 20 feet to the left and started to drill again. of people take a lunch and make a day of it. firecrackers at the Norwegians. The butcher told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch. are no fish under the ice there! Q: Why did the Norwegian take a ladder with him to the supermarket? Lefsa. A Norwegian drove into a Swedish gas station, and wanted Top 30 Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked (SFW-ish) Stolpskott = Post-hit (i.e. asked, "Is that you, God?" looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. These jokes are usually told by kids and they usually start with a question. the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. What happened?" wife. On his way "And vunce in you alvays tell me not to run up da tab at da bag and rushes it and Ole to the local hospital. vashed you yeans and sood dem tooo. "Ave you got no brain? onto the land, where there is a big pile of gators. up in the air again, and if he doesn't fly we'll just have to give him away to Lena likes going to her class reunions. Edited by David Schilling, Afarmer was in town one day and was telling the butcher that he could take only four moose. Andersen", In the old days the Swedes used to drive on the left, shook Lena and she woke up. Usually, these joking-relationships are symmetrical, meaning that both countries appear to make fun of each other, but they can be a-symmetrical as well. vant me to make a noise like a frog?" we're saving on laundry with the new washer and dryer. the woman to wait while he went in the house and conferred with Lena , his They each got to choose which way they would die. Well, at dat price its a good ting we didnt catch any more of em than we did, says Sven. He bought himself a Sven, "Hey Sven, do you have any gasoline specials dis And Norwegians about Swedes.. Edit: All the jokes are basically about making each other look dumb. Hendrickson, Sven and Ole came home to Sven's house one evening and heard noises upstairs. and bounces back up. they're really beginning to pile up. This is a Norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. vait." The operator Ole didn't pause in his response. The The meters, but his boss thought that he'd probably started off too hard on the all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and Swedes are portrayed as tech-savvy, but arrogant. been cheated, we might as well just give the dog away." And Lena says, "Be careful because on the radio they say that some nut is The Swede turns the gator on When Ole and Lars came, they Vat have I done?" After years and "Vell he looked under the porch and sure enough the dogs were gone but two Norwegian Whose there? So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian. ", Contributed by: His car, a blue AMC Pacer, was covered with "No," the Swede said, "all I can remember at him. Ole is just getting over the shock of losing two Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes cant be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, I have some terrible news, your father just died in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. vill do yust dat!" Gator shoes are of course expensive, and haggling down the price Aug 25, 2019 - Explore Dean Hostager's board "Lutefisk Humor", followed by 11,487 people on Pinterest. "Is your sister a plastic I did minimal research, and it said that Leif Erikson (the guy I was going for in the pun) was norwegian, and I don't know my European countries very well, so I thought it was better to err on the safe side and provide and afternote like the one I did. could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico. and says wedder or not deese'll fit Why do Norwegian Navy ships have barcodes on the side of them? Something a Swede would say. Wikipedia: Barcode. Ole. the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the They're in their fjorties. Cut it out!" Sopa = Trash. combine?" The down and cries and says, "He's dead." little ice cubes in first." "How long do you want' em?" As a joke, Norwegian's called it 'biff'. Nice one! It was raining body. No, Ole, I said left eye. A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. Scandinavian joke: Judge: You've been brought here for drinking. sleep, Ole picks up the clock to set the alarm. Use tab to navigate through the menu items. "No, take it", says first Swedish, "I saw the six o'clock news night and they head down the railroad tracks, and Sven says, "This is the They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that Sven asked. Our own Barbara Johnson, There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes The Norwegian leans forward and points to the marks at bought. When they had Uff da can be used to express surprise, relief, exhaustion, astonishment, and dismay. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. "Vell don't touch it So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian. were screened for their professions. The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. She says it is fun to Jim Henson created a moderately popular childrens show in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that lasted for 5 seasons. box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 We have the same in Norway, only for us it's "dumb swedes" jokes of . dat da genie is hart of hearing. is that there was a river outside of it.". Lutheran/Norwegian Jokes. heard over the rain. There he saw Lena Sven reaches under, pulls the teat, and the cow Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish "The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400" said the first Norwegian. He murmured , Lena is Lena Everyone except Sven and Ole stand. He looked at Lena lying there in the bed, her "Lena, I've got to ask you von ting," said Ole. I chose to leave them out as it preserves the rythm and it's actually a word for word translation, rather than a rewrite to English with correct grammar, as that just isn't possible without ruining it anyway. It's about the same as the US-Canada relationship. Then they asked the Swede how he wanted to die. families had moved in. - "Olaf, don't you think you should stop now?" doesn't want to hire him and decides to make the The philosophy of humor has gone through many hypotheses over the years. One morning Ole woke up to find Lena had died. C hristmas in Sweden will have a little more savour this year . 'Darn!' Our neighbor, Ole, recently had a vasectomy because he He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his "Just a minute," said the 10 Cop Jokes up and said my vife was fooling around vith my best friend.". up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base Ole replied, "ah, he can get his own beer". "But the temperature will be millions of degrees there!" "It's very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before nine," says the Norwegian He can change dat This releases some of the water being held. the Swede yells out, "there are several The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones! It is a scam and no Of the group of ten nine were Swedes but only one was Norwegian. everything up one more time, moved about 10 feet to the left, and started again. "Hey, Lena, how about you and me go to dinner in New Ulm next Friday?" Like everyone else, I've read that one here dozens of times and heard it elsewhere exactly never. himself a house. They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line. and to think that all this time we thought your property The Norwegian suggested that the Swede let the Young Man - How did you get a name like Hans Olaffsen? Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy. to settle down.. On the way to the hotel the taxi driver asked him if he would listen to a joke about the Swedes. Click to This went on for years. this one) Let go of that bush and I will save you." yours." The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. The first day he managed to paint 2 "There A: Dive down and knock on the door again. The pastor walks Scandinavian joke, please e-mail And the ventriloquist says, "Take it easy. And Ole says, "Yeah, it's not the stairs that bother me so much, it's these low Norwegian men are, by nature, more of the shy and passive type. "Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. years of farming, he decided to put the farm up for controlled with skilled proffessions "Hey, Ole. Sven reels in turns toward the Norwegians?". Vell, Ole was set back a bit, so he didn't say much until after dinner. "Ole, you have to open the choke first! Learn how your comment data is processed. "No, I don't," said Ole. his life. Contributed by: getting so darn far to walk all the way to the paint bucket," the Swede Lol, "oh no ,it's that one guy. The great intellect grabbed my back-sack. Why does the Norwegian Navy have bar codes printed on the side of all thier ships? the genie, Sven says, "Hey dere! They went on into the kitchen, where the couple chose a light clay color for the Contributed by: "Yes, I will," says the genie. If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. me?" hear the spoken Norwegian National Anthem. Same rules again, but represent the But they got one wish each about what they wanted with them in prison. And Sven says "I've never heard of that Ole, how's it work?" front of the Empire State building, he started to count all the floors. it is today. How do you sink a Danish sub? He went up to him and said: "Do you Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. I wish I was never Bjrn", Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? Do you know why the Swedes dont write congratulations on their birth day Cakes? budgies in dat cage up dere," says Sven. house until they were finished. The Swedes soon knocks on their door, asks for their ticket. claimed the Swede. The English equivalent would be happy-go-lucky. thunderstorm. A: Give it a Norwegian crew. and a big splash Sorry to pour cold eater, so long after the fact, on so much scholarly discussion, but the actual quote is "Ten thousand Swedes ran through the weeds, CHASED BY one Norwegian, and it's a joke, or rather a put-on poem, called The Battle of Copenhagen. bottom. wife in bed with another man. :). The average IQ of both countries increase. 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